(article source) : http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html
最近有一篇文章在Facebook, twitter上频频被转，Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed，它的原文是一名叫Bronnie Ware的护士写的。Bronnie Ware专门照顾那些临终病人，所以有机会听到很多人临终前说出他们一生里最后悔的事。她作了一个概括，有5件事是大多数人最后悔的。
Top Five Regrets of the Dying
By Bronnie Ware
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
Bronnie Ware is a writer, singer/songwriter, songwriting teacher and speaker from Australia. She has lived nomadically for most of her adult life. Bronnie shares her inspiring observations and the insights gained along the way through the diversity of her work. To read more of her articles and learn about her other work, please visit Inspiration and Chai at http://www.inspirationandchai.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bronnie_Ware
- 7楼. hui9982012/05/11 00:29如果当初
当初准备的安眠药 在家里的书桌下 没来得吃掉
- 6楼.2012/03/17 12:3285% 的就业人士不喜欢他们的工作，却没勇气转换跑道
- 5楼. 乌拉瑰本尊在此2011/11/14 18:53she/he my not have that choice
I have read this article before. In reality, it's not that easy for everyone simply because each individual is different. To achieve all five points, you have to draw boundaries which can be difficult for some people because she/he my not have that choice. If people can relive, some people still would have trouble to achieve all those five points. People should feel grateful that they can.
Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks for your valuable feedback.
For me, No.3 is often the most difficult.
When I sense the possibility that I might have severe conflict with others
, especially during an important meeting, I sometimes choose to avoid expressing my real opions.
In reality, we often suffer from those situations that
we wanted to fight back but we chose to yield ourselves.
As a traditional Chinese, maybe educational background is the real factor that subtly influnces me.
Thanks for your visit and your messages.
Robert Robert TCW 于 2011/11/15 08:56回覆
- 4楼. 岚山2011/11/12 09:46Do as nurse tell to do~
Just follow her instructions, there is no problem! These are health tips that we should behave and discipline ourselves. Most of time, a healthy mind even more important than physical!!
I wish you and family have a good health and prosperous years to come.
岚山(Blue Mt.) 敬上Dear BM,
Thansk for your warm blessings.
I agree with your points of view on the issue of mental healthness.
A recent statistics indicates that one out of five persons tends to be blue.
It's quite important that we exam ourselves from time to time to ensure we're healthy physically and mentally.
More importantly, we sometimes need to look into ourselves
to see if we live the way we want to be instead of the way we are supposed to be.
I appreciate your stopping by and cherish your messages.
Robert Robert TCW 于 2011/11/14 15:28回覆
- 3楼. 新天新地2011/10/08 02:48高兴
Robert Robert TCW 于 2011/10/13 08:34回覆
- 2楼. Derek2011/10/02 15:35把每一天 当成最后一天
最近几年 不约而同地 许多的地方
恐慌 试图消灾躲祸 ......
也许 未来 是不可测的
如果 今天是 最后的一天
我们 是否应该 更认真地 审视 亲人 朋友...........
活在当下 把握 每一份的悸动
Robert Robert TCW 于 2011/10/02 17:35回覆
- 1楼.2011/09/28 19:53怎么办? 这5项我全都做到了!
希望我们除了周遭的压力，也能随时关照自己、为自己而活、活在当下 Robert TCW 于 2011/09/29 10:33回覆